Its about making memories worth repressing
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Operation Purity has been aborted
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
