Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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