we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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