It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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