i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I had to cum in my sink.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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