16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
She's the barista slut.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Randomize
