i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Randomize
