Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
