after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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