I wannas sexs uuuuu
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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