I just cut my nipple shaving
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
