I must be too annoying 4 u.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
