none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
please come you make the beer taste better
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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