you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
