i think i have herpe
just one?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
