Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
lets start a swedish sibling band together
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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