So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
