Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
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you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
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somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
i think my cat just said my name.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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