I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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