Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
