Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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