all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Someone came in the potted fern
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I woke up under a house in Key West
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
