the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
