Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
