Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
