is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
