I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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