So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I forgot how hot balto sounded
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
