Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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