Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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