The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
