i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
