; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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