My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
