puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Randomize
