My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize