We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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