They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
