Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
