be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
