Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
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