i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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