Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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