i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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