I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize