my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
