OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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