Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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