swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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