He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
