I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
