I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
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did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
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Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk