im drinking this country out of the recession.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
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you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
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I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.