you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
