I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
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My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
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I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.