he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
