Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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