if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Everything about him screamed your future.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Randomize
