I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
