He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Randomize
