I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
