Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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